Care Bear | Emergency Preparedness Expert | Flowchart Architect | Pancake Advocate | Official Bear House Safety Officer
Danger Bear is prepared.
He has always been prepared. He will always be prepared. He was prepared before he arrived at Bear House, he was prepared during the nanny interview when he wheeled in his whiteboard alongside the projector screen that was already there, and he was prepared at 3am on a Tuesday when everyone else was asleep and Danger Bear was quietly laminating his fourteenth revision of the household emergency flowchart just in case.
Just in case is Danger Bear’s natural habitat.
He is a blue Care Bear with an exclamation mark on his chest that he considers not a warning but a promise. He takes his responsibilities seriously. All of them. Including ones nobody asked him to take on. Especially those ones.
His flowchart is his masterpiece. It has been revised 47 times. It currently covers Small situations, Medium situations, Very Big situations, Wolf Related situations, Walmart situations, Cheerio situations (new category, added recently, Medved’s suggestion), Birthday situations, and a special subcategory he calls “Eugene Adjacent situations” which covers a surprisingly wide range of events. Every branch of the flowchart eventually leads to pancakes. This is not an accident. Danger Bear has given this considerable thought and stands by the conclusion.
He presented his emergency procedures at the formal nanny interview using a whiteboard he wheeled in himself despite the projector screen already being set up. He used a laser pointer. He clicked it on and off several times apparently just because he enjoyed it. His flowchart included the categories SMALL, MEDIUM, VERY BIG, and a box that simply said NO. When asked what NO meant he explained it meant the situation was very big. When asked about pancakes he said pancakes solve more than people realize. He has not been proven wrong about this.
He ordered 470 balloons for Frostie’s birthday party. He maintains this was within acceptable parameters. He has a laminated document supporting this position. He produced a laminated conductor’s baton for the musical performance and conducted with complete seriousness while Eugene accidentally led from the front and Yogianna took over the second verse and Outback Bear fell asleep standing up with his ukulele. Danger Bear considers the performance a success. He has filed it under Birthday — Successful Outcomes.
He had a moment of profound cross cultural understanding with Boris over pancakes and blini at Frostie’s birthday party. He has since added Maslenitsa to the emergency comfort food approved list. After pancakes. He has updated the flowchart accordingly.
He classified Boris as a SMALL situation.
Boris has seen the flowchart.
Boris is furious about the flowchart.
He has written a strongly worded letter about the flowchart in very small handwriting.
Danger Bear has laminated the letter and added it to his files under WOLF — CORRESPONDENCE. He considers it charming. He has not told Boris this. He probably should. He has added it to his to do list. The to do list is also laminated.
Favourite Food:
Pancakes. Always pancakes. Pancakes solve more than people realize.
Special Skill:
Emergency preparedness, flowcharts, laminating absolutely everything
Known Weakness:
Unlaminated documents, situations not covered by the flowchart, anyone who underestimates pancakes
Personal Motto:
“Pancakes solve more than people realize.”
Someone asked Danger Bear once why every branch of his flowchart eventually leads to pancakes.
He looked at them for a long moment.
“Name one situation,” said Danger Bear, “that was not improved by pancakes.”
Nobody could.
He nodded once.
He went back to laminating. 💙🌟
Danger Bear’s Rooms
